It seems paradoxical, but I have
discovered that true connection begins inside me, not by reaching out. As I allow myself to drop deep within
my being, the layers of protection and defense fall away, and I am more open to
connecting – with myself, with Spirit, and with others. Connection is not about "doing
something" with other people; it is about "being" – being
present, being compassionate, being authentic.
Years of
psychological research indicate that social support is the one variable that
impacts our health and happiness the most. When we feel connected to others, we feel more
complete. We heal faster from
illness or injury, we perform better in our jobs, and experience more
satisfaction. Connection and
community are powerful in creating a context for our lives.
When I started out in
life, I felt alone and different from others. I was the youngest child by so many years that it felt like
being an only child. In my
childhood I spent a lot of time alone; I found friends in books and music. There were "I'm not good
enough" stories in my head that kept me from making easy connections with
other people. In my thirties, two
experiences changed my thoughts about community; joining a women's spiritual
exploration group and taking a personal growth workshop. Now I've participated in the women's group for
16 years and I'm teaching that same personal growth workshop. I've learned the benefits of community
and the skills of nurturing connections.
Being in loving &
learning communities has revolutionized my life. I'm still introverted and enjoy my alone time, but as part of
a larger community I feel whole and supported and loved by many. This is an amazing way to live. It is part of my life's work to help
other people find that sense of love & connection that is so healing.
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